It does not matter how we describe relationships in recovery the fact is we may be learning or relearning facts-of-life. When we are clean and sober we look at relationships differently, and, as we progress in the program we change our perspectives.
Many long term Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-anon and Adult Children of Alcoholic (ACOA) members say we should keep out of new relationships for the first 12 months on the program. That’s probably good advice especially when we look at some of the common myths of relationships. We are having enough trouble trying to re-establish a relationship with ourselves let alone with another person.
Lets look at some of the myths;
- Two people should think the same way to be in a relationship. FALSE.
- A good relationship is about a great romance. FALSE.
- A great relationship involves agreement on all issues. FALSE.
- A great relationship requires you have all interests in common. FALSE.
- A great relationship is a peaceful one. FALSE.
- A great relationship lets you vent all your feelings. FALSE.
- A great relationship has nothing to do with sex. FALSE.
- My partner has to be perfect in order for the relationship to be perfect. FALSE.
- There is a right and wrong way to make your relationship great. FALSE.
- If your partner feels attracted to someone else, she/he must feel less attracted to you. FALSE.
Reference: Dr Phil – McGraw, Phillip (2000). Relationship Rescue. Random House, London.
- Full article @ Counselling Tasmania