Getting To Know Yourself in Al-Anon and Alcoholics Anonymous
After many years of living, I now feel that I only existed. I breathed laughed, cried, worked, slept and awakened. I thought and read, acted and reacted to life and things about me, but I really didn’t live. I realise now that I acted or reacted to life or living, emotionally, not motivated by a positive attitude of thought or purpose. How often when I was unhappy did I think “If this or that situation had not occurred, I would be happy”. How could I be happy when I based my happiness on the actions or attitudes of other people.
I, as a person an individual have the freedom of choice in what I wish to do and how I will live, but how often was I like the puppet on a string. Did I say to myself “Today : I will be unhappy?” NO but I was unhappy. Someone or something outside of me decided that for me.
If someone said to me “I’ll run your Life for Today’’, I would indignantly reply “I can run my own life quite well thank you” But do I? This is why I feel that I only existed. I have learnt through the Twelve Steps of AA which we use in Al-Anon, to become emotionally serene (this is a daily effort).
To Live my day as it comes, with acceptance of the bad spots and gratitude for the good things that are mine in that twenty four hours. If I get emotional about the bad spots I am allowing circumstances to order my life for that day. If I am thankful for the bright spots I won’t even see the dark ones and I have made a conscious contribution to live my day as I want to live it.