Recovery from alcoholism/addiction may increase sexuality and desire.
This list can help you decide why you had sex, and why you may have sex in the future.
A key question is ‘Will the reason I’m having sex enhance my serenity – sobriety?’ Or, ‘Will I be disturbed by this action?’.
This study is very important to modern society. This is especially so since the sexual revolution opened peoples minds to a broader range of sexuality and sexual expression.
Historically, the reasons people have sex have been assumed to be few in number and simple in nature-
- to reproduce,
- to experience pleasure, or
- to relieve sexual tension.
Several theoretical perspectives suggest that motives for engaging in sexual intercourse may be larger in number and psychologically complex in nature. Our first study used a procedure that identified 237 expressed reasons for having sex.
Here are the top 50 reasons men have sex;
- I was attracted to the person
- It feels good
- I wanted to experience the physical pleasure
- It’s fun
- I wanted to show my affection to the person
- I was sexually aroused and wanted the release
- I was ‘‘horny’’
- I wanted to express my love for the person
- I wanted to achieve an orgasm.
- I wanted to please my partner
- The person’s physical appearance turned me on
- I wanted the pure pleasure
- I was ‘‘in the heat of the moment’’
- I desired emotional closeness (i.e., intimacy)
- It’s exciting, adventurous
- The person had a desirable body
- I realized I was in love
- The person had an attractive face
- The person really desired me
- I wanted the adventure/excitement
- I wanted to feel connected to the person
- I wanted the experience
- It was a romantic setting
- The person caressed me
- The person made me feel sexy
- It seemed like the natural next step in my relationship
- I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex
- I wanted to keep my partner satisfied
- The opportunity presented itself
- It just happened
- I wanted to intensify my relationship
- I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions
- My hormones were out of control
- The person was too ‘‘hot’’ (sexy) to resist
- I was curious about my sexual abilities
- I wanted to improve my sexual skills
- I wanted to become one with another person
- I saw the person naked and could not resist
- The person was a good kisser
- I wanted to feel loved
- I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion
- The person was too physically attractive to resist
- It was a special occasion
- I hadn’t had sex for a while
- The person had beautiful eyes
Research From; Cindy M. Meston & David M. Buss, Why Humans Have Sex, Arch Sex Behav (2007) 36:477-507