When drinking or drugging one has sex, uses sex and does sex for various OK or not so OK reasons.

Recovery from alcoholism/addiction may increase sexuality and desire.

This list can help you decide why you had sex, and why you may have sex in the future.

A key question is ‘Will the reason I’m having sex enhance my serenity – sobriety?’ Or, ‘Will I be disturbed by this action?’.

This study is very important to modern society. This is especially so since the sexual revolution opened peoples minds to a broader range of sexuality and sexual expression.

The study;

Historically, the reasons people have sex have been assumed to be few in number and simple in nature-

  • to reproduce,
  • to experience pleasure, or
  • to relieve sexual tension.

Several theoretical perspectives suggest that motives for engaging in sexual intercourse may be larger in number and psychologically complex in nature. Our first study used a procedure that identified 237 expressed reasons for having sex.

Here are the top 50 reasons men have sex;

  • I was attracted to the person
  • It feels good
  • I wanted to experience the physical pleasure
  • It’s fun
  • I wanted to show my affection to the person
  • I was sexually aroused and wanted the release
  • I was ‘‘horny’’
  • I wanted to express my love for the person
  • I wanted to achieve an orgasm.
  • I wanted to please my partner
  • The person’s physical appearance turned me on
  • I wanted the pure pleasure
  • I was ‘‘in the heat of the moment’’
  • I desired emotional closeness (i.e., intimacy)
  • It’s exciting, adventurous
  • The person had a desirable body
  • I realized I was in love
  • The person had an attractive face
  • The person really desired me
  • I wanted the adventure/excitement
  • I wanted to feel connected to the person
  • I wanted the experience
  • It was a romantic setting
  • The person caressed me
  • The person made me feel sexy
  • It seemed like the natural next step in my relationship
  • I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex
  • I wanted to keep my partner satisfied
  • The opportunity presented itself
  • It just happened
  • I wanted to intensify my relationship
  • I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions
  • My hormones were out of control
  • The person was too ‘‘hot’’ (sexy) to resist
  • I was curious about my sexual abilities
  • I wanted to improve my sexual skills
  • I wanted to become one with another person
  • I saw the person naked and could not resist
  • The person was a good kisser
  • I wanted to feel loved
  • I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion
  • The person was too physically attractive to resist
  • It was a special occasion
  • I hadn’t had sex for a while
  • The person had beautiful eyes

Research From; Cindy M. Meston & David M. Buss, Why Humans Have Sex, Arch Sex Behav (2007) 36:477-507

Related Reading:

The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships
Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations For Men And Women Recovering From Sex Addiction (Hazelden Meditation Series)
Stories For Kids: 31 Fun and Illustrated Children's Stories with Moral Lessons (A Story A Day)
12 Steps & 12 Traditions and the 12 Concepts of World Service Workbook: Working the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions and Twelve Concepts of World Service