Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time
By Melody Beattie
A book for any one who has had a relationship with an alcohol, addict or compulsive gambler. Adult Children of Alcoholism / addiction, wives, husbands, parents &etc.
Review By Neal J. Pollock (VA USA)
While I have not read Melody Beattie’s other works, I thought this a very valuable book in and of itself. It sheds much light on the topic and helped me to become sensitized to the obvious signs of co-dependency in people. By doing this, it enabled me to avoid situations where I could become codependent in a relationship.
I think that, as in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, there are levels of psychological situations and/or problems. Thus, there may be people inherently inclined towards co-dependency, but there may also be people who are thrust into it due to the demands of others. The latter may find this book incredibly helpful in avoiding such relationships and in helping their dependent person seek real help vs. co-dependency from another person. There are also a number of great quotes by the author in this book. A few are:
- p. 70: “It’s hard to feel compassion for someone while that person is using or victimizing us.”
- p. 71: “If everything looks black, we’ve probably got our eyes shut.”
- p. 164: “Who we are in a relationship with says as much about us as it does about them.” Earnie Tucker (quoted by Melody Beattie)
Co-dependency is not something to make light of, it’s as much (if not more) the co-dependent’s problem as the dependent’s. As Caroline Casey humorously noted in “Making the Gods Work for You” (Harmony Books NY 1998), on page 72:
“What do codependents see when they die? Someone else’s life flashes before their eyes.”
This is literally a life-changing book for codependents.
Buy now from Amazon; Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time