Sexual compulsion may seem like a life locked in battle with self
Sexual Compulsives Anonymous is a 12 Step Fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other, that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from sexual compulsion.
These are the characteristics most of us seem to have in common:
- As adolescents, we used fantasy and compulsive masturbation to avoid feelings, and continued this tendency into our adult lives with compulsive sex.
- Compulsive sex became a drug, which we used to escape from feelings such as anxiety, loneliness, anger and self-hatred, as well as joy.
- We tended to become immobilized by romantic obsessions. We became addicted to the search for sex and love; as a result, we neglected our lives.
- We sought oblivion in fantasy and masturbation, and lost ourselves in compulsive sex. Sex became a reward, punishment, distraction and time-killer.
- Because of our low self-esteem, we used sex to feel validated and complete.
- We tried to bring intensity and excitement into our lives through sex, but felt ourselves growing steadily emptier.
- Sex was compartmentalized instead of integrated into our lives as a healthy element.
- We became addicted to people, and were unable to distinguish among sex, love and affection.
- We searched for some “magical” quality in others to make us feel complete. Other people were idealized and endowed with a powerful symbolism, which often disappeared after we had sex with them.
- We were drawn to people who were not available to us, or who would reject or abuse us.
- We feared relationships, but continually searched for them. In a relationship, we feared abandonment and rejection, but out of one, we felt empty and incomplete.
- While constantly seeking intimacy with another person, we found that the desperate quality of our need made true intimacy with anyone impossible, and we often developed unhealthy dependency relationships that eventually became unbearable.
- Even when we got the love of another person, it never seemed enough, and we were unable to stop lusting after others.
- Trying to conceal our dependency demands, we grew more isolated from ourselves, from God, and from the very people we longed to be close to.
Admitting That We Are Powerless
If we decide that we have the disease of sexual compulsion, the first step toward recovery is to admit that we are powerless over our condition and that it makes our lives unmanageable. When we can do so, we are ready to move on to the 12-step recovery program. The only requirement for membership in SCA is a desire to stop our compulsive sexual behavior.
Full story at; Sexual Compulsive Anonymous
See also
- Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
- S-Anon for partners and friends of sex addicts
- Tools of Recovery
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2 Responses
2 Comments
Hi Charles,
It may sound strange but the best way to help your friend is to try not to help. Have a look at some of the organisations at Sex and Love Addiction links.
I have a friend she have a sexual compulsion ( although she will not admit it )but she has sexual encounters with men she dose not know she sometime picks up men off the street and most time they are much younger than her she also uses drugs this she dose admit to and I know she has some issues with her father ( her mother is deceased ) she has brothers and sisters but they want no contact with her due to her behavior and know as a adult she suffers a lot of verbal abuse from her father even to this day and I think as a child the abuse was much worse to what extent I do not know this is affecting her job and soon she will lose it she is alway in financial straights as her friend I do not know how to help her she will not admit she has a problem