The Truths of Those Who Cross Dress
While drinking, drugging, gambling practicing sex addiction some men may have found they had a desire to cross dress in women’s clothing.
The stigma associated with cross dressing may be a contributing factor to a break of sobriety if not addressed through the 12 Steps. This article may help men with such desires.
Many men accept cross dressing as normal
Every year, several hundred traditional husbands, fathers and businessmen come together for parties, seminars and workshops exploring the thorny issue of how to buy the right wig and hide a 5 o’clock shadow with the foundation and blush-on. Heterosexual married men from suburbia with families who cross dress? What’s going on?
Apparently a much more common practice than most people would imagine. It’s estimated that at least 1% of the male population cross dresses.
And even as we approach the 21st Century, the idea of a heterosexual man in heels is still more than a little threatening. And confusing even for the cross dressers themselves.
As JoAnn Roberts, founder of Renaissance, a Delaware Valley cross dressing support group of over 400 said, “I knew growing up that I wasn’t gay and I was heterosexual. I thought I might be crazy, but I knew I wasn’t gay.”
Cross dressing is a subject that’s been universally misunderstood. While producing the first documentary on heterosexual cross dressing called All Dressed Up And No Place To Go, I found a host of misconceptions rampant in most people’s thinking.
The following are the Top Eleven Misconceptions about those who Cross Dress:
Cross dressers Are Gay
In fact is most of them are not gay. They are very definitely heterosexual. One of the most difficult areas for cross dressers was how to deal with the women with whom they wanted to be involved.
Cross dressers Don’t Like Women
The truth is that rather than shying away from women, most cross dressers are as married or looking for a relationship as any cross section of men in America.
Women Who Love Cross dressers Must Be Lesbians
What’s it like to love a man who’s wearing a dress? One wife said “When he is cross dressed, we’re friends like I would be with any girlfriend. When he’s dressed as a man, I feel free to love him as a man.”
Cross Dress for Sexual Gratification
Most cross dressers reveal that relieving stress and relaxation were the feelings they most associated with their cross dressing. Only a few get any real sexual gratification from cross dressing.
Cross dressers Always Wear Women’s Clothes
In fact, most may only dress once a month or once every six months. Many men don’t ever even reach the point of fully dressing but feel the same relaxed feeling by just wearing women’s undies under their suits.
Cross dressers Have Weird Sexual Habits
No more than most. However cross dressers did report their sex lives were enhanced by cross dressing to some degree.
Cross dressers Look Like Drag Queens
In fact many cross dressers are most comfortable dressing their ” femme ” selves as they would dress their male selves.
Cross dressing Develops in Adulthood
Many men remember that as preschoolers they got a certain feeling with Mom’s clothing. It’s very rarely something that develops in adulthood.
Cross dressers Are Made, Not Born
The current conventional wisdom seems to be that cross dressing is a result of both Nature and Nurture. But the truth is there’s no common thread and we really don’t know why it happens.
Cross dressers Are Schizophrenic
In reality cross dressers exhibit slight personality alterations in their “femme” role, but in general, their personalities only change to the extent that many people’s do when assuming different roles in life, i.e. CEO, husband, father.
Cross dressing Can Be Cured
Most professionals now try to counsel the cross dresser to deal with his cross dressing rather than eradicate it. When someone comes for counseling and feels it’s sick behavior, then helping them to be healthy is to help them accept it and to be able to appropriately accept their own desire to cross dress.
This is an edited version of an article by Marlene M. Maheu, Ph.D. at ; Self-help Magazine