[picappgallerysingle id="310182"]Patterns of co-dependency can emerge from any family system where the open and secret rules close its members off from the outside world.
These family systems;
- discourage healthy communication of issues and feelings between themselves,
- destroy the family members’ ability to trust themselves and to trust another in an intimate relationship, and
- freeze family members into unnatural roles, making constructive change difficult.
Rules that encourage the unnatural patterns of relating in these codependent family systems include:
- Don’t talk about problems
- Don’t express feelings openly or honestly
- Communicate indirectly, through acting out or sulking, or via another family member
- Have unrealistic expectations about what the Dependent will do for you
- Don’t be selfish, think of the other person first
- Don’t take your parents as an example, “do as I say, not as I do”
- Don’t have fun
- Don’t rock the boat, keep the status quo
- Don’t talk about sex
- Don’t challenge your parent’s religious beliefs or these family rules
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