1 - We admitted we were powerless over alcohol … that our lives had become unmanageable.

"I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." (Romans 7:18)

2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

"… my grace is sufficient for you, for my POWER is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) ..for it God Who works in you to will and act according to His good purpose.. (Phil. 2:13)

3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of GOD as we understood Him.

"… If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23**)

4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

"Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord." (Lamentations 3:40)

5 - Admitted to GOD, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." (James 5:16)

6 - Were entirely ready to have GOD remove all these defects of character.

"If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land." (Isaiah 1:19)

7 - Humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings.

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up." (James 4:10)

8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." (Matthew 5:23, 24**)

9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Give and it shall be given you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Luke 6:38**)

10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

"For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith GOD has given you." (Romans 12:3)

11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with GOD as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will, and the power to carry that out.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." (Psalm 19:14) "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly…" (Col. 3:16)

12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and practice these principles in all our affairs.

"Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:1-2)

Alcoholics Victorious

Founded in 1948, Alcoholics Victorious support groups offer a safe environment where recovering people who recognize Jesus Christ as their "Higher Power" gather together and share their experience, strength and hope. AV meetings use both the 12 Steps and the Alcoholics Victorious Creed.

Contact; Alcoholics Victorious

I know that when the cup is drained I can be my true self. And, that process of draining my cup goes on continuously.

A Zen story explains;

Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen.

Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring.

The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!"

"Like this cup," Nan-in said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?"

This may apply equally for recovery for Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-anon, Gamblers Anonymous, Alateen and ACOA members.

More like this at; http://www.101zenstories.com/

There are now dozens of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings throughout Israel

According to Sy Greenfeld, the first group of Alcoholics Anonymous in Israel was started in 1976 in Tel Aviv by several immigrants from South Africa along with personnel from the United Nations. It was an English-speaking group. For Hebrew-speaking alcoholics in Israel, he says, “there was nothing-no literature, no translations, no other professional help.”

Greenfeld says that alcoholics were routinely placed in psychiatric hospitals. “There was no other help for them,” he explains.

Greenfeld joined the Tel Aviv AA group in 1977 and then started a group in the Haifa area with three other people.

“Alcoholism hits everyone,” Greenfeld said. “Men, women, religious, non-religious, even people in the Muslim community, where drinking is prohibited.”

He said that studies have shown that statistically, approximately 10 percent of adults in every country will abuse alcohol. Of that 10%, 1% will be alcoholics.

There are now dozens of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings throughout the country in Hebrew, English and Russian.

Full story and web links to AA Israel at; The Jerusalem Post

See also;

• AA and Treatment Work Better Together
• Alcoholics Anonymous
• AA Offers Recovery Not Religion

Bill W.: A Biography of Alcoholics Anonymous Cofounder Bill Wilson by Francis Hartigan Read more about this title… Highly recommended

Three Tips For Releasing Your Addiction To Negative Thinking

If you are finding yourself caught in your negativity thought addiction (i.e “I’m a failure. I’m a horrible person. What if the worst happens?” etc. etc.)

People in  recovery may find these addictive thoughts seeming to appear out of nowhere. And, when an alcoholic, addict or codependent has these thoughts they are dangerous. Many will use the program and fellowship to find answers, but these tips may also help.

Three tips for the easiest and fastest ways to shift out of these painful thoughts into more uplifting thought patterns:

• 1. Notice that you’re caught in the negative thought cycle and that it’s only your thoughts that are beating you up in this moment.

It’s not the outside world. Once you realize that it’s just your own thoughts that are making you miserable, it takes some of the intensity off of the situation.

• 2. Instead of trying to “get positive”, try to be the observer of your negative thought loop.

For instance, if you find yourself feeling depressed or anxious, this is a sign from your body that you are in your negativity addiction. As soon as you notice that you’re down, start to investigate the thoughts you are thinking.

• 3. Finally, learn to meditate. You can do a mantra or breath meditation.

There are many methods. Choose one that feels good to you. Find some form of meditation that simply quiets your mind. If you can’t find anything positive to think about, it’s better to quiet your mind completely than to let the negative thoughts run rampant.

Full story at Denise Coates Blog

See also;

• 10 Secrets of Happy Relationships
• A Problem Shared is a Problem Halved
• Sensual Massage
• What About This Spiritual Awakening Thing?

The Spirituality of Imperfection: Storytelling and the Search for Meaning by Ernest Kurtz, Katherine Ketcham Read more about this title…

Three Tips To Bring The Romance Back Into Your Relationships

In recovery many people may need to look at just how they can get romance back into their relationships. Alcoholics, addicts and their codependents may have strained sexuality. Think about what happened when you first met. Are these some of the things you did - even without knowing it.

These tips may work for heterosexual, gay, lesbian and bisexual couples. They may also work for new couples forming a new relationship.

<< Note the alcohol free drinks.

Here are three tips for using the Law of Attraction to breathe passion back into your romantic relationships:

1. Become a “praise-o-holic”

After the honeymoon phase, most couples tend to notice every little thing that’s wrong with their partner. It’s mostly just a bad mental habit. But it can completely drain a relationship of its joy and passion and can be the real culprit behind divorce. The good thing about habits is that we can replace negative habits with positive ones.

2. Create an “I Love You Journal”

Every day for thirty days, write twenty things you adore about your partner in your “I Love You Journal”.

3. Take Three Minutes Every Day to Visualize The Two of You In Love

On my website, I have a have a visualization called “The Happy Couple Magnetizer” that walks you through the process of visualizing the two of you madly in love just like newlyweds on your honeymoon.

But if you can imagine the two of you head over heels and really get into the emotions of that, you can actually trigger your body to release those “in love” hormones once again and breathe life and joy and passion back into your love life.

Full story and Happy Couple Magnetizer at; Denise Coates website

See also;

• Sensual Massage
• 10 Secretes of Happy Relationships
• The Sexual G-spot, Male and Female

Tender Fires: The Spiritual Promise of Sexuality by Fran Ferder Read more about this title…

Recovery from alcoholism/addiction increases sexuality and desire.

This list can help you decide why you had sex, and why you may have sex in the future. A key question is ‘Will the reason I’m having sex enhance my serenity - sobriety?’ Or, ‘Will I be disturbed by this action?’.

This study is very important to modern society. This is especially so since the sexual revolution opened peoples minds to a broader range of sexuality and sexual expression.

The study;

Historically, the reasons people have sex have been assumed to be few in number and simple in nature-

• to reproduce,
• to experience pleasure, or
• to relieve sexual tension.

Several theoretical perspectives suggest that motives for engaging in sexual intercourse may be larger in number and psychologically complex in nature. Our first study used a procedure that identified 237 expressed reasons for having sex.

Here are the top 50 reasons men have sex;

• I was attracted to the person
• It feels good
• I wanted to experience the physical pleasure
• It’s fun
• I wanted to show my affection to the person
• I was sexually aroused and wanted the release
• I was ‘‘horny’’
• I wanted to express my love for the person
• I wanted to achieve an orgasm.
• I wanted to please my partner
• The person’s physical appearance turned me on
• I wanted the pure pleasure
• I was ‘‘in the heat of the moment’’
• I desired emotional closeness (i.e., intimacy)
• It’s exciting, adventurous
• The person had a desirable body
• I realized I was in love
• The person had an attractive face
• The person really desired me
• I wanted the adventure/excitement
• I wanted to feel connected to the person
• I wanted the experience
• It was a romantic setting
• The person caressed me
• The person made me feel sexy
• It seemed like the natural next step in my relationship
• I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex
• I wanted to keep my partner satisfied
• The opportunity presented itself
• It just happened
• I wanted to intensify my relationship
• I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions
• My hormones were out of control
• The person was too ‘‘hot’’ (sexy) to resist
• I was curious about my sexual abilities
• I wanted to improve my sexual skills
• I wanted to become one with another person
• I saw the person naked and could not resist
• The person was a good kisser
• I wanted to feel loved
• I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion
• The person was too physically attractive to resist
• It was a special occasion
• I hadn’t had sex for a while
• The person had beautiful eyes

Research From; Cindy M. Meston & David M. Buss, Why Humans Have Sex, Arch Sex Behav (2007) 36:477-507

See also Why People have Sex and Why Women Have Sex.

1. We admitted we were grateful for the role humor plays in our recovery, and our laughter had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity, and a little laughter now and then couldn’t hurt.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him, and laughed about how if we measured what we understood about God on a scale of one to ten, the needle on the gauge would probably point to minus one, and we don’t need to tell you which end of the scale is which, which makes us laugh, because we are desperate, aren’t we?
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, and when appropriate, laughed at ourselves and the foibles of addiction.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs, and didn’t laugh too much here, because this step involves some serious shit.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character, and laughed out loud when we realized how great life could be without these defects.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings, and imagined God stripping us down to our shorts in front of our home group, to keep us humble and to provide a few laughs for the other drunks, junkies, and misfits.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and realized there was nothing funny about the length of this list. Became willing to make amends to all of them, but realized it was going to take a lot of thinking and head scratching just to figure out what "amends" were, and then to actually make them, whew!
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Made indirect amends when we didn’t want to get caught or feel guilty.
10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when wrong, promptly admitted it. When our behavior was funny, ironic or ludicrous, we laughed at it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out, and sought through laughter to understand that God has a sense of humor, because after all, He created the likes of us.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others in recovery and to practice these principles in all our affairs. And we remembered humor also has the power to heal.

When drinking or drugging one has sex, uses sex and does sex for various OK or not so OK reasons.

Recovery from alcoholism/addiction increases sexuality and desire.

This list can help you decide why you had sex, and why you may have sex in the future. A key question is ‘Will the reason I’m having sex enhance my serenity - sobriety?’ Or, ‘Will I be disturbed by this action?’.

This study is very important to modern society. This is especially so since the sexual revolution opened peoples minds to a broader range of sexuality and sexual expression.

The study;

Historically, the reasons people have sex have been assumed to be few in number and simple in nature-

• to reproduce,
• to experience pleasure, or
• to relieve sexual tension.

Several theoretical perspectives suggest that motives for engaging in sexual intercourse may be larger in number and psychologically complex in nature. Our first study used a procedure that identified 237 expressed reasons for having sex.

Here are the top 50 reasons women have sex;

• I was attracted to the person
• I wanted to experience the physical pleasure
• It feels good
• I wanted to show my affection to the person
• I wanted to express my love for the person
• I was sexually aroused and wanted the release
• I was ‘‘horny’’
• It’s fun
• I realized I was in love
• I was ‘‘in the heat of the moment’’
• I wanted to please my partner
• I desired emotional closeness (i.e., intimacy)
• I wanted the pure pleasure
• I wanted to achieve an orgasm
• It’s exciting, adventurous
• I wanted to feel connected to the person
• The person’s physical appearance turned me on
• It was a romantic setting
• The person really desired me
• The person made me feel sexy
• The person caressed me
• It seemed like the natural next step in my relationship
• I wanted to become one with another person
• It just happened
• I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex
• I wanted the experience
• I wanted the adventure/excitement
• The person had an attractive face
• The person was a good kisser
• I wanted to intensify my relationship
• My hormones were out of control
• I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions
• I wanted to feel loved
• The person had a desirable body
• I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion
• I wanted to communicate at a ‘‘deeper’’ level
• I was curious about sex
• It was a special occasion
• The person was intelligent
• I wanted to say ‘‘I’ve missed you’’
• I wanted to keep my partner satisfied
• I got ‘‘carried away’’
• The opportunity presented itself
• The person had a great sense of humor
• I wanted to improve my sexual skills
• I was curious about my sexual abilities
• The person seemed self-confident
• I wanted to make up after a fight
• I was drunk
• I was turned on by the sexual conversation

Research From; Cindy M. Meston & David M. Buss, Why Humans Have Sex, Arch Sex Behav (2007) 36:477-507

Tomorrow - Why Men Have Sex.

See also Why People have Sex

• to reproduce,
• to experience pleasure, or
• to relieve sexual tension.

Several perspectives suggest that motives for engaging in sexual intercourse may be larger in number and psychologically complex in nature.

Our first study used a procedure that identified 237 expressed reasons for having sex, ranging from the

• mundane (e.g., ‘‘I wanted to experience physical pleasure’’) to the
• spiritual (e.g., ‘‘I wanted to get closer to God’’), from
• altruistic (e.g., ‘‘I wanted the person to feel good about himself/herself’’) to
• vengeful (e.g., ‘‘I wanted to get back at my partner for having cheated on me’’).

Our second study asked 1549 participants to evaluate the degree to which each of the 237 reasons had led them to have sexual intercourse.

The Physical reasons included

• Stress Reduction,
• Pleasure,
• Physical Desirability, and
• Experience Seeking.

The Goal Attainment reasons included

• Resources,
• Social Status,
• Revenge, and
• Utilitarian.

The Emotional reasons included

• Love and
• Commitment and
• Expression.

The three Insecurity reasons included

• Self-Esteem Boost,
• Duty/Pressure, and
• Mate Guarding.

Why Humans Have Sex, Cindy M. Meston & David M. Buss. Arch Sex Behav (2007) 36:477-507.

See also; Why Women Have Sex.

Because compulsive gambling is an insidious and baffling illness, some adults have difficulty deciding if they were affected by compulsive gambling during childhood.

The following questions may help you to determine whether compulsive gambling affected your childhood or present life.

• Do you obsess about money?
• Did family activities revolve around gambling events? (sports, cards, lottery, racetracks, etc.)
• Have you ever been missing money?
• Have you ever paid or been asked to pay a parent’s debts?
• Do your parents often argue about money?
• Were you forced to form an alliance with one parent against another?
• Did you parents use you as a sounding board for their marriage?
• Are you afraid to be alone with the gambling parent?
• Do you feel anxious when the phone rings, mail comes or doorbell rings?
• Do you feel responsible for the unhappiness in your home?
• Do you confuse pity with love?
• Have you had problems with your own compulsive behavior?
• Do you feel more like the parent than the child?
• Are you unable to remember all or parts of your childhood?
• Do you care for others easily, but find it difficult to care for yourself?
• Do you find it difficult to identify and express your feelings?
• Do you have trouble with intimate relationships?
• Do you lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth?
• Do you feel more alive in the midst of a crisis?
• Do you think more money would solve your problems?

If you answered yes to some or all of these questions, Gam-Anon may be for you. Gam-anon is a fellowship for families, relatives and close friends who live and have lived with the gambling problem. We would like you to feel that we understand as perhaps few can and that Gam-Anon can offer you a new way of life.

Contact; Gam-Anon

Born to Lose: Memoirs of a Compulsive Gambler