From her own experience, a wife thinks it’s important for family and friends not to drink in front of people they’d like to stop drinking.
Indeed, one of the common themes in advice to loved ones is to be good role models, setting an example by taking steps like avoiding drinking around them and not bringing alcohol into the house.
She adds, “Don’t let your good times revolve around drinking.” She recalls how many of the things she and her husband did together used to involve alcohol: “Every event I perceived as a good time revolved around booze. And he just went along with me. We would go to his softball games and out for beer afterward. And if we went to parties or summer picnics, alcohol was always involved.”
In short, if a major focus of your relationship with a problem drinker has been alcohol – say, you go to a lot of parties with friends who drink, or you’re in the habit of having nightly cocktails together – it’s wise to re-examine how you spend time together and then try to find sober alternatives, such as going for walks in the evening or attending cultural events more often.
A wife maintains that her husband did try to get her to do something other than drink at night, like go to the movies. She says she would refuse because the activity cut into her drinking time. As a therapist points out, the mistake in this case was that the husband made the choices – it’s important for the decisions to be left to the person with the alcohol problem.