What Is Co-dependency?
Co-dependent people usually have a state of mind that has a common set of attitudes or psychological approaches to how they relate to their partners.
This seems to be true of co-dependents of alcoholics, addicts, compulsive gamblers, dysfunctional people and dysfunctional families.
- My good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you.
- My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.
- Your struggles affect my serenity.
- My sexuality depends on your sexuality.
- My mental attention focuses on solving your problems or relieving your pain.
- My mental attention is focused on pleasing you.
- My mental attention is focused on protecting you.
- My mental attention is focused on manipulating you to "to do it my way".
- My self-esteem is bolstered by solving your problem.
- My self-esteem is bolstered by relieving your pain.
- My own hobbies and interests are put aside. My time is spent sharing your interests and hobbies.
- Your clothing and personal appearance is dictated by my desires as I feel that you are a reflection of me.
- Your behavior is dictated by my desires as I feel that you are a reflection of me.
- I am not aware of how I feel. I am aware of how you feel.
- I am not aware of what I want. I ask what you want.
- If I am not aware i assume.
- The dreams that I have for my future are linked to you.
- My fear of rejection determines what I say or do.
- My fear of your anger determines what I say or do.
- I use giving as a way of feeling safe in our relationship.
- My social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you.
- I put my values aside in order to connect with you.
- I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own.
- The quality of my life is in relation to the quality of yours.