I want to change things. I want to see things happen. I don’t want just to talk about them.
–John Kenneth Galbraith
12 Step Newcomer
I feel as if I should be doing so much more than just staying in recovery and going to meetings. And yet, when I have free time, I’m not accomplishing much these days. I go to a meeting and then to coffee – “the meeting after the meeting,” I’ve heard it called – and I get home and feel too tired to do any more. When I have a big block of time, I don’t know how to use it. I feel confused and discouraged.
This point in recovery is a time to be especially gentle with ourselves. When we look back at how we were feeling and what we were doing just before we entered recovery, we can see that “just staying in recovery and going to meetings” is a major change. To be free from our addictive behavior, to keep a commitment to a program of recovery – this is nothing short of a total revolution in our lives. We have made a commitment to live, not to punish ourselves for not doing it faster and more perfectly.
“The meeting after the meeting” is not a waste of time. It’s important to get to know our peers in recovery. We can learn from one another, support one another. The changes we’re experiencing are mirrored back to us by others who are undergoing similar transformations. It gives us experience, too, at being with people without the “help” of our addictive substance or behavior.
We don’t have to worry about wasting time in early recovery. It is a miracle that we can simply be.
Today, I let myself be.
You are reading from the book: If You Want What We Have
|If You Want What We Have: Sponsorship Meditations|