I wish you a slow recovery. –Saying heard in 12 Step meetings
I feel as if I should be doing better than this by now.
I can identify with your belief that you should be doing better faster. I sometimes feel that about the pace of my own recovery, as if we recovering people are in some sort of race with time.
As active addicts, we had little experience with any long process. We believed in instant results, like the ones we were used to getting from our addictive substance or behavior. So we may not be qualified to judge what our rate of progress should be.
One antidote to my impatience is hearing about myself from people who saw me at meetings in the early days of my recovery. Paradoxically, I feel reassured when they laugh and make statements like, “I remember what you were like; you were bouncing off the walls!” Their perspective reminds me that I’ve come a distance on my journey.
What can best further your journey is leaving the timetable for recovery in your Higher Power’s hands as you focus your whole being – all of your attention – on this present moment.
Today, I don’t measure myself. I trust that I’m everything I should be in this moment.