AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR
When one acts aggressively, one expresses ones own feelings, thoughts and opinions without respect for the rights and needs of other people. The goal of aggressive behaviour is to dominate or win, and the effect is to make others feel humiliated, ignored or overpowered.
This can leave you with the feeling: ‘I’m O.K. – Your not O.K.’,
and the other person with the feeling: ‘I’m not O.K. – They are O.K.’
INDIRECT AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR
When a one uses indirect aggression, one signals their feelings, in an indirect and devious way. Such as by sighing, refusing to make eye contact, or ignoring someone. If questioned one may verbally deny ones feelings but continue to express them non-verbally.
This leaves each with the feeling: ‘I’m not O.K. – your not O.K.’
PASSIVE OR NON-ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR
When a one acts passively or non-assertively, one fails to express ones feelings or thoughts. Thus allowing others to ignore you. Or, one express oneself in such an indirect, apologetic or timid way that others easily ignore you. One respects the rights of others, but belittles ones own rights or importance.
This leaves one with the feeling: ‘I’m not O.K. – you are O.K.’,
and the other person with the feeling: ‘I’m O.K. – with no thoughts or feelings for you.’
ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR
When a one acts assertively, one expresses ones thoughts, feelings, beliefs and opinions in direct, honest and appropriate ways. Being assertive means both respecting one’s own rights and needs and mutually respecting others.
This leaves each with the feeling: ‘I’m O.K. – Your O.K.’
…oo00oo…
What message do you want to put across? …………………………………..
Your choice? ………………………………………………………
When do you need to make this choice? ……………………………………..
How often do you need to make this choice?…………………………………
Practice makes perfect. After weeks, months or years of changing - “I will intuitively know how to handle situations which once used to baffle me.” Let it begin with me.
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