Communication With A Higher Power
I guess that the first communication I had with a Higher Power, came when I asked for help to stop drinking. This Higher Power could have been God to some, but for myself, at that time, my Higher Power was Alcoholics Anonymous.
Before I could possibly consider any more than this in my life, I had to learn how to converse, and trust, my fellow man. For so many years of my drinking, I had gradually progressed down to a life of isolation and alienation. Sure I was still with my family, but, through excessive drinking, and the effect it had on my personality, I had lost the ability to converse. My only communication with them was as a crying drunk, or as an hysterical drunk. I was not totally at fault because this is the effect alcohol had on me. This urging desire to converse with my fellow man, deepened, and became more frustrating as I progressed deeper in alcoholism.
On reaching my first A.A. Meeting, I simply could not have a conversation. Deep inside of me I had this desperate need to communicate with everyone in that room. But the words just couldn’t come out of me. There were so many things inside of me that I wished to say but I had this terrible mental and emotional blockage which made it impossible for me to speak.
But with time, this began to change. It was through the A.A. members understanding – they’d been where I was then at – that I was eventually able to converse more and more with other people.
It was around this time that I felt the need to search for something beyond what was offered by my fellow A.A. member. I began searching for the Spirituality of the A.A. programme. I had no religious upbringing and I found it most difficult to believe in a conventional God. I did know that when I did the right thing, for me, there was a warm feeling within me and when I was off the track, then my brain and emotions were all mangled. Coping with daily living was my major problem.
My communication with my Higher Power came through these moments of turmoil, where, just speaking to another person didn’t seem to be the complete solution.
Firstly, my only communication with my Higher Power was at these particular times of trouble. But gradually, I began conversing at times when everything was going smoothly. Communication is important in any relationship.
Unity in family depends on just this as does any human relationship. If we don’t discuss and talk to our fellow man then one can once again become alienated. So it’s logical to suppose that communication is important with a Higher Power. This is done quietly when-one is alone. There can and are times also, when contact has to be made to face and overcome an unexpected emotional turmoil. At these particular times, I have found it comforting to quickly say to myself “Give me thy strength, as I have so little” or “Thy will, not mine.” These words have been enough to quickly calm me and allow rational thought to re-appear.
It allows me time to take two steps back and review the situation. At times like these I’ve called on my Higher Power and found I need only ask and help is there for me. The ground work is then up to me.
Communication with my Higher Power is now becoming a regular part of my daily living. I can now converse without any embarrassment or reservations. My fellow man and my Higher Power are a necessary part of my recovery.