“Seeking sexual satisfaction is a basic desire, and masturbation is often our first teen natural sexual activity. It’s the way we discover our eroticism, the way we learn to respond sexually, the way we learn to love ourselves and to build self-esteem.” -Betty Dodson, renowned artist, author and sex educator
And, said Woody Allen, Masturbation! – “it’s having sex with the one you love.”
Many people in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, ACOA or co-dependency may not be in a sexually active relationship. Relations may need to be rekindled or new relationships may be needed. Additionally, many people may not want to endanger their new found sobriety by being involved in an emotionally charged relationship.
Masturbation is one of the most common sexual activities, and refers to self-stimulation of the sexual organs. What men and women learn about their own sexual responses through masturbation helps them provide information to their partners about what feels best during lovemaking.
Almost all men and most women, whether gay, lesbian, bisexual or straight, masturbate at some point in their lives, and the majority of us understand that it is a normal and healthy pattern of sexual expression.
Many of us grew up with a sense of guilt over the act, particularly if our parents made us feel it was something shameful or abnormal. But that shouldn’t stop you – it is a natural and arousing behaviour.
Masturbation is a great outlet for our body’s sexual responses, but in the end, whether you do it or not is up to you.
Masturbation is an excellent way of having frequent orgasms. Many women experience their most powerful orgasms through masturbation, and generally use what they have learned in pleasuring themselves to enrich the quality of their sex lives.
Both men and women sometimes fear that masturbation will lessen their desire to have sex with their partner. Studies, however, have shown that masturbation usually has a positive effect on sexual relationships. Also, men and women who have experienced orgasm through masturbation before having sexual intercourse for the first time often have less difficulty achieving orgasm with their partners.
Whatever self-pleasuring technique works best for you is what you should use. There are no rules in masturbation – only that you make it a private act (or with your partner) – and that no one dictates to you how often you indulge yourself – and that no one gets hurt.
Women generally masturbate by stimulating their clitoris and outer lips of the vagina. Some may use a vibrator or may insert an object such as a dildo into their vaginas for additional stimulation, although this is less common than direct stimulation of the clitoris.
Men generally circle their hands around their penises, and use an up-and-down motion to stimulate themselves. The speed of stimulation tends to increase as they approach orgasm.
For both men and women, fantasy often plays a role in masturbation. Stimulation by reading erotic literature or watching videos is also often a sensual aid.
You should be comfortable in doing whatever feels right for you and no one gets hurt.