Self-Forgiveness for Recovery and Healing the Injured Inner-Self
Adult children of alcoholics, co-dependents, alcoholics and addicts may have an injured sense of inner-self. These lists may help people identify and focus on the matters that most concern them.
Irrational thinking preventing self-forgiveness
- I hurt myself so much; how can I ever expect to be forgiven for that?
- No one deserved the treatment I dished out, and I do not believe that forgiveness is deserved in this situation.
- I am sick over what I did; how can I ever forgive myself?
- I must be inherently evil, and I am despicable. No forgiveness will ever change that.
- I am vicious and cruel, and I always need to be on guard because of that; so why try to forgive what I have done?
- It is a sign of weakness or softness to forgive myself. I must always keep my guard up so as never to repeat my wrongdoings.
- There are some things I can never forgive myself for.
- Only God can forgive me, though at times I don’t believe He can for what I have done.
- What has happened in my life is God’s seeking revenge for all the evil I have done in the past.
- I have done too much for which I can never be forgiven.
- I am just seeking my forgiveness so that I can come back and hurt myself again.
- I do not deserve any self kindness, self compassion, or self forgiveness for what I have done to myself or others; I’ll see to it that I am never able to forget it!
- All people who do wrong deserve the worst that life has to dish out.
- I resent myself for hurting myself or others. It is better for me to be hidden behind my wall so I don’t hurt anybody again.
- If I could treat myself or others that way, then I am undeserving of being forgiven, loved, or cared for.
What is self-forgiveness?
Self-forgiving is:
- Accepting yourself as a human who has faults and makes mistakes.
- Letting go of self anger for your past failures, errors, and mistakes.
- No longer needing penance, sorrow, and regret over a grievous, self-inflicted, personal offense.
- The act of self love after you have admitted your failure, mistake, or misdeed.
- The spiritual self healing of your heart by calming self rejection, quieting the sense of failure, and lightening the burden of guilt.
- The act of letting go of the need to work so hard to make up for your past offenses.
New behaviors needed to create self-forgiveness
In order to forgive yourself one needs to practice:
- Letting go of past hurt and pain.
- Trusting in your goodness.
- Trusting in the goodness and mercy of your Higher Power to take over the burden for you.
- Letting go and letting your Higher Power lead you during a hurtful time.
- Believing in the infinite justice and wisdom of your Higher Power.
- Letting go of fears for the future.
- Allowing yourself to be vulnerable to growth.
- Taking a risk.
- Letting go of self hostility, resentment and self-destructive behaviors.
- Working out your self anger.
- Overlooking slight relapses or steps backward and getting back on the wagon of recovery immediately.
- Developing a personal spirituality.
- Developing an openness to the belief that you can change.
- Developing trust in yourself.
- Open, honest, and assertive communication with yourself concerning hurts, pains, and offenses experienced.
- Identifying and replacing the irrational beliefs that block your ability to forgive yourself.
The 12 Steps to recovery will enable self-forgiveness. Remember the inner-self is only injured not permanently crippled.
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