People in recovery learn new skills that may have escaped them while drinking or drugging. This is one I found essential and very, very satisfying. Our sexual enjoyment grew to new heights.
The key to giving and receiving a good sensual massage is preparation.
The experts suggest that in order to really relax, you should light some scented candles, put a romantic CD on loop, lay down a clean sheet, get some fresh towels at the ready and turn off your mobile phone and … TV!
You will also need some massage oil. Talking of oil, it’s important to remember that oil can erode latex condoms and so it’s important that you use a water based lubricant.
Now, before you go any further, it is important to talk to your partner so that they know exactly what a sensual massage is. Describe it as a leisurely, languorous, lustful activity which involves nudity and intimate touching.
So here goes. To get things going, start by lightly stroking your partner’s body with the tips of your fingers (start on your partner’s back). Take your time, don’t rush. If you do then you’re wasting your time and a great opportunity into the bargain.
Move from one area of your partner’s body to another covering the shoulders, arms, thighs, calves and buttocks.
Once your partner is completely relaxed – not asleep – begin the sensual massage by pouring about two tablespoons of massage oil into your hands and then rub them together until the oil is warm. This is very important as you don’t want your partner shrieking and spoiling the mood.
Now, use your hands to make long, gliding strokes over your partner’s body making sure you check with your partner that the pressure’s OK.
When you’ve covered all the key areas of your partner’s body, (shoulders, arms, thighs, calves and buttocks) switch from long gliding strokes to short deep strokes.
To make deep strokes you will need to lightly use your body weight rather than your arm strength but remember to be gentle.
As you work your way around your partner’s body using short deep strokes, remember to massage their feet and hands, brush over their buttocks and if you’re massaging a female partner, make sure you gently stroke her breasts.
When you think the time is right, begin working your way very slowly down your partner’s legs gliding your hands as you go. Brush past your partner’s genitals, teasing your partner by stroking their inner thigh.
Finally, when the erotic energy has had time to build, demand your turn or shift the focus from massage to more explicitly sexual activities such as …. Well you can take it from here!