Winding

Twenty Questions to help identify sexually compulsive actions

Sexual addiction can be a problem for people in recovery from alcoholism, gambling, addiction or co-dependency. This can be so whether one is gay, lesbian or straight. These questions may help identify or dismiss the problem.

The Twenty Questions

  1. Do you frequently experience remorse, depression, or guilt about your sexual activity?
  2. Do you feel your sexual drive and activity is getting out of control? Have you repeatedly tried to stop or reduce certain sexual behaviors, but inevitably you could not?
  3. Are you unable to resist sexual advances, or turn down sexual propositions when offered?
  4. Do you use sex to escape from uncomfortable feelings such as anxiety, fear, anger, resentment, guilt, etc. which seem to disappear when the sexual obsession starts?
  5. Do you spend excessive time obsessing about sex or engaged in sexual activity?
  6. Have you neglected your family, friends, spouse or relationship because of the time you spend in sexual activity?
  7. Do your sexual pursuits interfere with your work or professional development?
  8. Is your sexual life secretive, a source of shame, and not in keeping with your values? Do you lie to others to cover up your sexual activity?
  9. Are you afraid of sex? Do you avoid romantic and sexual relationships with others and restrict your sexual activity to fantasy, masturbation, and solitary or anonymous activity?
  10. Are you increasingly unable to perform sexually without other stimuli such as pornography, videos, “poppers,” drugs/alcohol, “toys,” etc.?
  11. Do you have to resort increasingly to abusive, humiliating, or painful sexual fantasies or behaviors to get sexually aroused?
  12. Has your sexual activity prevented you from developing a close, loving relationship with a partner? Or, have you developed a pattern of intense romantic or sexual relationships that never seem to last once the excitement wears off?
  13. Do you only have anonymous sex or one-night stands? Do you usually want to get away from your sexual partner after the encounter?
  14. Do you have sex with people with whom you normally would not associate?
  15. Do you frequent clubs, bars, adult bookstores, restrooms, parks and other public places in search of sexual partners?
  16. Have you ever been arrested or placed yourself in legal jeopardy for your sexual activity?
  17. Have you ever risked your physical health with exposure to sexually transmitted diseases by engaging in “unsafe” sexual activity?
  18. Has the money you spent on pornography, videos, phone sex, or hustlers/prostitutes strained your financial resources?
  19. Have people you trust expressed concern about your sexual activity?
  20. Does life seem meaningless and hopeless without a romantic or sexual relationship?

If you answered yes to several of these the following link may be of help.

More at; Sexual Compulsives Anonymous

Sexual Compulsives Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other, that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from sexual compulsion.

The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop having compulsive sex. There are no dues or fees for SCA membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. SCA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization, or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes.

Our primary purpose is to stay sexually sober and to help others to achieve sexual sobriety. Members are encouraged to develop their own sexual recovery plan, and to define sexual sobriety for themselves. We are not here to repress our God-given sexuality, but to learn how to express it in ways that will not make unreasonable demands on our time and energy, place us in legal jeopardy — or endanger our mental, physical or spiritual health.

Related Reading:

Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts
Living with a Sex Addict: The Basics from Crisis to Recovery
Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations For Men And Women Recovering From Sex Addiction (Hazelden Meditation Series)
Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts