Cameo boundaries Personal psychological, sexual and physical boundaries protect us from exploitation, abuse and dysfunctional relationships. However, boundaries can be dismantled, distorted or abandoned.

The motives and causes for having unhealthy boundaries are many and varied. These may include alcoholism, addiction or compulsive gambling; and, close association with sufferers of these conditions.

Unhealthy boundaries have many signs and symptoms. Some of these are;

  • Telling all
  • Talking at an intimate level at the first meeting
  • Falling in love with a new acquaintance
  • Falling in love with anyone who reaches out
  • Being overwhelmed by a person – preoccupied
  • Acting on the first sexual impulse
  • Being sexual for your partner, not yourself
  • Going against personal values or rights to please others
  • Not noticing when someone else displays inappropriate boundaries
  • Not noticing when someone invades your boundaries
  • Accepting food, gifts, touch, or sex that you don’t want
  • Touching a person without asking
  • Taking as much as you can get for the sake of getting
  • Giving as much as you can give for the sake of giving
  • Allowing someone to take as much as they can from you
  • Letting others direct your life
  • Letting others describe your reality
  • Letting others define you
  • Believing others can anticipate your needs
  • Expecting others to fill your needs automatically
  • Falling apart so someone will take care of you
  • Self-abuse
  • Sexual and physical abuse
  • Food and chemical abuse

If you have a lot of these signs and do not feel as if you are ‘being your self’ or generally unhappy you may need to seek help.

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