In a codependent-alcoholic relationship, individual human rights are not respected, and this is the primary devastating factor to families dealing with alcoholism. This article outlines a code of basic human rights applicable to the non-alcoholic.
You and your children have the right to:
- a loving and secure relationship based on healthy mutual dependence;
- peace and harmony in your home;
- a stable, secure, and nurturing environment conducive to personal growth and self-discovery;
- a healthy self-concept, knowing you are worthy, valued, and loved;
- human dignity; to be respected and treated as an individual human being, and not be put down, demoralized, and dehumanized;
- not live a life of “always waiting for the other shoe to drop,” never knowing whether it will be a soft slipper or steel-toed work boot;
- a life free of the fear of emotional terrorism, physical abuse, and constant arguing;
- a life free of nightmares, day terrors, and insecurity;
- a life free of guilt and shame, and freedom from manipulation through guilt and shame;
- not be emotionally drained and “all used up” from the rigors of a codependent-alcoholic relationship;
- use any possible means (short of physical assault) to positively change your own circumstances;
- leave a physically abusive alcoholic relationship immediately and without advance notice to the alcoholic;
- leave any relationship that is not healthy and not actively improving;
- not live life on a roller coaster, going from one alcoholic crisis to another;
- go to work or school without dragging all the baggage of codependent-alcoholic dysfunction.
- earn an income and spend money as you choose.