As an alcoholic, I must always allow for the ‘wet weather routine.’ Every day isn’t going to be bright and shining, so how do I use the programme to minimise the chances of my getting wet again?
For those of us who have ever had to plan a function, social, even a children’s party, the nagging thought always arises. What shall we do if it rains?
As an alcoholic, I don’t have a weather forecast to warn me of a deep depression centred over me, moving slowly and followed by torrential booze. But such periods of depression will come to me, just as they come to others, who are not alcoholics.
So how do I try to ensure that I don’t get caught without my umbrella?
Quite simply, my umbrella has Twelve spokes, called the Twelve Steps which are suggested for our programme of recovery and this umbrella will not work without all of its twelve spokes, or ribs.
The first spoke, to drink or not to drink before coming to AA. I knew, in my rare lucid moments, that alcohol would kill me, if I did not do something about it. I
realised, long before I admitted it, that I could not control my consumption of alcohol, a fact very evident to family and friends. We alcoholics must rank among the best con-men in the world – it was always “I’ll stop tomorrow, or the next day, or next week,” but I never did.
I had nearly reached my physical rock bottom and certainly my spiritual all time low, when I sought the help of AA Restoration to sanity, the second spoke, must have come through a Power greater than myself, working for me and helping me, as it was evident that I couldn ‘t get back to sanity by myself.
The third spoke is turning my will and my life over to the care of God. My Higher Power, as I have now found Him through AAs spiritual programme, is a loving
God, who carefully directs me and uses me for right purposes, if I sincerely and humbly consult Him.
To me today, sobriety is a valued treasure, thanks to the faith that I have developed through my belief in a Power greater than myself, a Power which gave me this gift when my need was most desperate. I can never possibly repay the debt of gratitude to God and the fellowship of AA that I now owe, but I can try, by putting back something in exchange for that which I have received, by service in AA.
With the fearless moral inventory, the fourth spoke I realised that I had come close to seeing a copy of the “Picture of Dorian Grey.”
By admitting to God and another human being, the very nature of my wrongs and shortcomings; I add the fifth spoke the sixth and so on, building up to the twelfth spoke For me now it is the twelfth step that reinforces and strengthens the other eleven.
It is with great and sincere humility that I find that people now turn to me for help.
In doing so, they make my, resolve stronger my spirits stronger. The time will surely come when I shall need comfort, strength and help, which I, in turn, shall seek from other members of the Fellowship
But I must never forget to check those twelve spokes, every day; otherwise my umbrella will not be ready for that unexpected downpour.