Recovery Is Sexy.com

When drinking or drugging one has sex, uses sex and does sex for various OK or not so OK reasons.

Recovery from alcoholism/ addiction increases sexuality and desire.

This list can help you decide why you had sex, and why you may have sex in the future. A key question is ‘Will the reason I’m having sex enhance my serenity – sobriety?’ Or, ‘Will I be disturbed by this action?’.

This study is very important to modern society. This is especially so since the sexual revolution opened peoples minds to a broader range of sexuality and sexual expression.

Historically, the reasons people have sex have been assumed to be few in number and simple in nature–

• to reproduce,
• to experience pleasure, or
• to relieve sexual tension.

Several theoretical perspectives suggest that motives for engaging in sexual intercourse may be larger in number and psychologically complex in nature. The survey included heterosexual and gay men.

Here are the top reasons men have sex;

1. I was attracted to the person
2. It feels good
3. I wanted to experience the physical pleasure
4. It’s fun
5. I wanted to show my affection to the person
6. I was sexually aroused and wanted the release
7. I was ‘‘horny’’
8. I wanted to express my love for the person
9. I wanted to achieve an orgasm.
10. I wanted to please my partner
11. The person’s physical appearance turned me on
12. I wanted the pure pleasure
13. I was ‘‘in the heat of the moment’’
14. I desired emotional closeness (i.e., intimacy)
15. It’s exciting, adventurous
16. The person had a desirable body
17. I realized I was in love
18. The person had an attractive face
19. The person really desired me
20. I wanted the adventure/excitement
21. I wanted to feel connected to the person
22. I wanted the experience
23. It was a romantic setting
24. The person caressed me
25. The person made me feel sexy
26. It seemed like the natural next step in my relationship
27. I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex
28. I wanted to keep my partner satisfied
29. The opportunity presented itself
30. It just happened
31. I wanted to intensify my relationship
32. I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions
33. My hormones were out of control
34. The person was too ‘‘hot’’ (sexy) to resist
35. I was curious about my sexual abilities
36. I wanted to improve my sexual skills
37. I wanted to become one with another person
38. I saw the person naked and could not resist
39. The person was a good kisser
40. I wanted to feel loved
41. I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion
42. The person was too physically attractive to resist
43. It was a special occasion
44. I hadn’t had sex for a while
45. The person had beautiful eyes

Research From; Cindy M. Meston & David M. Buss, Why Humans Have Sex, Arch Sex Behav (2007) 36:477–507

• See also
• Why do Women Have Sex?
• Finding Love When Over 60
• Chicken Soup for the Recovering Soul
• Emotional Sobriety
• Say Yes to Your Sexual Healing

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