When drinking or drugging one has sex, uses sex and does sex for various OK or not so OK reasons.
Recovery from alcoholism/ addiction increases sexuality and desire.
This list can help you decide why you had sex, and why you may have sex in the future. A key question is ‘Will the reason I’m having sex enhance my serenity – sobriety?’ Or, ‘Will I be disturbed by this action?’.
This study is very important to modern society. This is especially so since the sexual revolution opened peoples minds to a broader range of sexuality and sexual expression.
Historically, the reasons people have sex have been assumed to be few in number and simple in nature–
- to reproduce,
- to experience pleasure, or
- to relieve sexual tension.
Several theoretical perspectives suggest that motives for engaging in sexual intercourse may be larger in number and psychologically complex in nature. The survey included heterosexual and gay men.
Here are the top reasons men have sex;
- I was attracted to the person
- It feels good
- I wanted to experience the physical pleasure
- It’s fun
- I wanted to show my affection to the person
- I was sexually aroused and wanted the release
- I was ‘‘horny’’
- I wanted to express my love for the person
- I wanted to achieve an orgasm.
- I wanted to please my partner
- The person’s physical appearance turned me on
- I wanted the pure pleasure
- I was ‘‘in the heat of the moment’’
- I desired emotional closeness (i.e., intimacy)
- It’s exciting, adventurous
- The person had a desirable body
- I realized I was in love
- The person had an attractive face
- The person really desired me
- I wanted the adventure/excitement
- I wanted to feel connected to the person
- I wanted the experience
- It was a romantic setting
- The person caressed me
- The person made me feel sexy
- It seemed like the natural next step in my relationship
- I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex
- I wanted to keep my partner satisfied
- The opportunity presented itself
- It just happened
- I wanted to intensify my relationship
- I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions
- My hormones were out of control
- The person was too ‘‘hot’’ (sexy) to resist
- I was curious about my sexual abilities
- I wanted to improve my sexual skills
- I wanted to become one with another person
- I saw the person naked and could not resist
- The person was a good kisser
- I wanted to feel loved
- I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion
- The person was too physically attractive to resist
- It was a special occasion
- I hadn’t had sex for a while
- The person had beautiful eyes
Research From; Cindy M. Meston & David M. Buss, Why Humans Have Sex, Arch Sex Behav (2007) 36:477–507